Accept Spark Choose

I’m not sure if I’ve said this yet but, y’all, taking care of kids all day is hard. Like, harder than I imagined. I know, you’re shocked, because it’s a breeze for you, but it’s not for this Mama. When it’s toddlers, you’re lucky if it’s a 7 to 7 gig. Add in an infant and...well Good. Night. It’s so easy to throw in the towel when you’re tired, or the kids are misbehaving, someone’s sick, whatever. You figure you'll start over tomorrow. But how frequently does your whole day with kids go smoothly? About never, am I right? If you disagree, start your own parenting blog girlfriend because I’d love the advice. Anyways, if we gave up hope every time the day started going to crap, we would be quitting on them like, every day. Think about that for a second. If you throw in the towel before noon even twice in one week, you’re wasting about 14 hours of critical time with these tiny boos. Mamas, we have to learn to pick ourselves up quicker than that. Our babes are counting on us to carry them through the day.

Trust me, I KNOW how hard this is. When the air conditioner is broken, the dog pooped on the floor, and you had two kids up all night, by 8:30 AM you’re spent. I get it, and I’m sorry. But I’m also kind of not sorry. Because we signed up for this. This is life sis. It’s messy & hard and some days it straight up blows chunks, but it’s also beautiful and you wouldn’t change it for the world if you could only see where it’s taking you.

Full disclosure, this is something I’ve struggled with, a lot, and am still working through. I am not a naturally patient person. It is something I have to pray for and work on every single day. It's not an uncommon occurrence for me to lose my patience and yell at the boys and feel like the sky is falling. For a while, I thought it was a season. “When Adam can walk, it will be better”. “When we can swim during the summer it’ll get easier”. “Once we have a play-room they’ll kindly take turns with toys & poop rainbows.” When it wasn’t easier and my room wasn’t filled with rainbow poop, I’d get frustrated and frazzled and immediately rant to Jon via text about how horrible the day was going. I can only imagine how pleasant that must have been for him, by the way. Ew.

Now, y’all know I love me some Rachel Hollis and there’s a tidbit from her that’s influenced how I handle the difficult days. In the “Made for More” movie, she shares a motto of “same you, new mood”, essentially meaning, in the time it takes for you to say that, you can change. This concept has had such an impact on me. This may sound so basic, but the realization that I had the power to turn my day around was the catalyst for me to start making changes and actively figuring out how to move on after a tantrum, skipped nap, or all out child warfare.

So, how do you reset your day, you might ask. Well, ahem, I shall share my sage advice with you now.

Accept Grace

This thing we do is harder than anyone can imagine. You can’t be everything, everywhere, to everyone. So, first and foremost, give yourself a break. If you need to roll some Paw Patrol for an hour while you pull yourself together, or ply your little beasties with snacks so you can prance through the aisles of Target, do it and be quiet about it. No guilt. No self-reproach. No over compensating later with extravagant activities that will just cause stress and re-set the cycle. It’s do or die out here ladies, survival of the fittest. You do what you need to do and be okay with it.

Spark Joy

No, don’t go in your closet and hold your clothes. Find a simple activity that will fuel you. You can’t reset by just willing yourself to feel better and wishing the bad situation away. You have to actively do something that MAKES you feel better. This is not to be confused with self-care or “me time”, which I talk all about here. This is a reset. This is you saying “I don't want to throw this day away so I need to show myself some love for a hot minute”. And, this is something you will probably have to do more than once in during the day. Now, if you can’t think of something that makes you happy, then we need to have another conversation, but these are some quick activities that help me reset a bad day; some involve the kids, some involve locking them away safely in the playroom or putting on a show.

Pray girl, pray

If you ever needed grace. If you ever needed peace. If you ever needed balance. You needed prayer. Stop for a minute and ask for these graces. Check in and ask for help. Say a Hail Mary because the blessed mother feels you girl, she feels you.

Grab an iced coffee

This makes me feel like a straight up Queen every time

Walk around the neighborhood

Let the kids walk too and get some energy out. Or stuff them in the stroller and put your headphones in. You can almost never go wrong with a walk.

Listen to Music

I have a whole soap-box speech prepared about music in our homes, so look for that blog post down the road. Maybe Baby Beluga really gets your blood pumping, no judgment here (well, maybe a little judgement, sorry), but I just have to get a break from kids’ entertainment. Listening to the “Relax & Unwind” Spotify playlist is LIFE for me some days.

Breath & Connect

This isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Take time and connect with your breath & body. You don’t have to meditate, just close your eyes and take deep breaths. It’s that simple. Breathing in essential oils like Peppermint or Wild Orange can uplift, give you energy, or bring you to balance. 

Play with the kids

This one works every time. I’m not talking about sitting next to them on your phone while they play. This is phone in the other room, physical activity type of play. Digging in and playing cars or chasing them around the room always gets me laughing.

10 Minutes of Social Media

This sounds bad but, especially if you’re a SAHM, sometimes connecting with the outside world can really help. Just make sure you’re following the right people so you don’t end up feeling worse.

Get out of the house

Throw your grip in the car and run to the store. It doesn’t matter if you need anything. Just get out. It’s good for you and the kids, I promise. (Unless you have a kid who cries when they don’t get something, then I’ve got nothin’ for ya, I renege on my promise).

Choose Optimism

As someone prone to mood swings & a bad attitude any time something unexpected comes my way, this is the actual hard part. After 30 years, I finally understand that a bad morning doesn’t have to mean a bad day. If that’s what happens, I’m choosing that. Remember, “same you, new mood”. I encourage you to say it when you’re feeling down. Say it when you’re discouraged. Say it when you’ve had enough. If nothing else it will be a reminder that you have a choice, right now, to make your day better. You have to mentally decide that the next moment will be better than the last. It is always easier to quit. It is always easier to feel bad for yourself. But don’t give in. Choose optimism for yourself and for your family, because feeling good, well, it feels good!